~hopes for the future~

salam n hye all...

i should be writing my practicum journal right now but i ended up writing my journal here....i have journal unwritten for two weeks...yes for two weeks..am i lazy?...maybe...
we frequently heard people would have to go all out during their practicum... but it's not for me, i could say im not really really all out due to some reasons. first is because of health condition. i easily got fatigue and dizziness..therefore im not really forcing myself to burn the midnight oil, staying up late till 4 or 5 in the morning. i rarely do. thus, i didnt have teaching aids which could give a 'wow' look to people, lesson plan neither.

second, even though i've made great preparation for teaching the lesson, still, i couldnt perform it well by the time i saw my lecturer sitting at the back of the classroom, staring at me teaching in front of the class, feeling like a captain is scrutinizing every single part of a soldier's body. as a result, i missed some steps while teaching my lesson, even the lecturer could feel my 'nervousness' as she told me that she could hear my voice trembled and saw my fingers started to shake. although i've memorised each step well, i couldnt carry out the lesson well due to this stage fright symptom...:(

so, i hate observation!! i just follow the flow....what i've been thinking all this while is just to end my 6 years study just soon...graduated, have a career, save a lot of money, make my parents happy, buy my second asset and get MARRIED! or maybe get married first then buy my second asset....:)

pray for me k..:)

btw, congratz to my close friend during my school years..Nor Hidayah bte Hamzah for getting excellence. she's now teaching in SK Assunta.

dayah, betulla orang cakap pelajar MRSM Jasin campak kat mana2 still bersinar even though just a mere teacher compared to our classmates yang mostly future engneer, doctor, scientist, chemist etc etc.

and one of our schoolmates Azrai, also best student in his college. 
proud to be your schoolmate and classmate!

~when things went haywire~

salam....

fuh..fuh..sudah lama tidak menjenguk cool blog ni...sudah bersawang sana sini...
bukan kerana hilang minat, bukan kerana kehabisan idea, bukan kerana malas menaip, tapi masa yang tidak berapa nak mengizinkan untuk aku meluangkan masa di sini...banyak lagi perkara dan tugasan yang perlu diselesaikan yang aku sedari hanyalah tuntutan duniawi...tapi kerana tanggungjawab dan future career, ku gagahi juga...

actually, there r many things happened to me all this while but i realized i could not pour them all here since it's world wide. special thanks to my close buddies nana and him coz lend me your ears to listen to all my hard time, lend me your shoulders for me to cry on and calm me down.... only Allah can repay all your kindness.

i realized i was not strong enough, not like both of you. that's why i once cried while teaching the pupils (ade kaitan ke?huhu) nope...i easily cried when things went haywire. sometimes i felt that it was not my fault. sometimes, i did feel the other way round.

to those people, we r grown-ups...we have our own opinion. we hold our respective principle and notion. we belongs to each other since we live under the same roof. but, sometimes, we felt separated when we had different view on certain things and we couldnt agree more to each other...

i really really really hope that this matter would end just soon coz i hate the feeling of hatred which lead me to commit vengeance later on....:(   Nauzubillah....