salam....

maybe it's too early for me to take my first step there after 2 years...it's like a no-no to me..the minute I arrived there, trail of BAD memories came across my mind...i didnt know why they should be the BAD ones..instead of the goods..this maybe the result of the torturous and dictatorship ruling that i'd been going through 2 years ago...reminiscing memories of how i barely searching for food especially at night due to limited cafeterias as well as its short operation hours, of how my long sleeve t-shirt was taken by the warden, was worn on my way home merely bcoz of there's no maktab's logo printed on that shirt. on the same day, my friend's cloth, syaza's punjabi also being taken by her..what's more, several scarfs@tudung being stolen by erm...makcik cleaner...*sigh*

While waiting for my sis, Mr OA passed by me...i just greeted him a sheepish smile...then, about an hour later,again.. he's walking in front of me thus i greeted him another smile and salam...my sis was just done with her INSAK test...another 3hours to go till she settled everything;group and individual interview....all d best dear!!

while waiting, i grabbed the opportunity to send umi's wedding cards to Rosella, my junior a.k.a my former rumates and dr Anisah...a group of the juniors bumped into me but i could remember none of their names...my bad..:(

salam...n hye all!!!

quite busy lately...it seemed i was the one who went for the interviewsss....

presenting cupcakes with choc filling... specially baked by sis for me on my bufday...

salam...holla...:)

salam...

holla....im back!!!
sory for quite a long silence...students' life never failed to tense me the most...but, now, exam's over and it means that im on holiday....do you know the entailment principle? when something happens, it will result in something else to happen...in this case, exam's over entails sem break and holiday...so, im already home since last friday...as usual, doing household chores is a must-do-routine during holidays...but this morning, it's like a hooray to me the minute i received msg from mum "hari ni xpayah masak" ...:)

im glad to realize that it's only 1 year left before I change my status...status?i mean no more 'student' status...one step closer to working life...one side of me is saying so, but another side of me who knows me well is crying inside coz she knows that im not prepared yet...im always being bombarded by such questions "am i qualified enough to be a teacher? do i still remember the knowledge i've learnt or gained and am i ready to pour them down on my students?"....to be frank, im very worried when there r form 5 students who know more  English words compared to me...maybe backgrounds make us different...the way they were brought up differs from me but it couldnt be considered as an excuse...i took it as a challenge...im a grown up therefore i should improve myself....

till now, there r still some of my stuffs remain unpacked due to too-many-things-to-do-in a limited-time.*sigh*.....im currently taking over all my younger sis' enrolment to the varsity as well as IPG, JPA scholarship, interviews and so forth. i should have been alert to all the recent news as she's already in JB, on her hockey training. she represents SBP Malaysia for an International tournament which will be held in Aussie next month....but nver mind...it wouldnt cause me any problem as i do it willingly solely for my beloved sis..what's more, i know it couldnt repay the good result that she rewarded me and family...thanx again..:)

plus, the 2 big events which will be coming just soon contribute to my 'bussiness' too....hope everything's going well....however, i always bear in my mind that when there are too many things to be settled in a short period of time, there are always problems occur which act as barriers for things to be done successfully...and again, do pray for the best...hope we'd bear all...insyaALLAH...

Sudah lama rasanya titisan-titisan jernih ini tak membasahi pipi….niat untuk menidurkan diri seawal 10.30 mlm hanya tinggal kenangan…aku perlu akur dengan ketentuan-Nya...aku hanya mampu merancang…aku sedar aku merancang, Dia juga merancang tapi aku percaya perancangan DIA adalah yang terbaik buatku.

Mata yang terbuka luas ni hanyalah onar semata-mata…cukup sukar dilelapkan tika ini…hanya aku dan DIA yang mengerti dan memahami…aku sedar ade beberapa perkara yang tak perlu dan tak patut untuk aku luahkan kepada manusia apatah lagi haiwan yang tiada akal fikiran. Hanya DIA tempat aku mengadu kerana aku tahu hanya DIA yang sudi mendengar luahanku tidak kira masa dan tempat . Aku sedar jika aku luahkan kepada manusia, tidak semua akan mendengar kerana mereka juga ada masalah yang mungkin lebih sukar untuk diselesaikan, mereka juga ada emosi sepertiku yang tidak menentu, dan mereka ada kehidupan sendiri yang perlu mereka aturkan. aku sedar ada antara mereka yang mendengar, tapi mereka tidak memahami melainkan jika mereka pernah berada di tempatku. Hanya DIA yang tahu….

Aku sedar ujian yang kulalui ini belum cukup hebat jika dibandingkan dengan orang lain…aku tahu ada jalan penyelesaiannya jika aku terus berusaha dan berikhtiar…tapi, aku juga sedar yang aku bukan seorang yang penyabar…dan aku tahu DIA sediakan ujian-ujian ini supaya aku dapat melatih diriku menjadi sabar. Aku sedar bahawa sabar itu separuh daripada iman..tapi, bila aku mnghadapi saat-saat getir seperti ini, perkataan itu seakan-akan lenyap di kotak fikiranku…membuatkan aku lupa untuk mengawal diri….

Di saat rakan-rakan sedang menelaah pelajaran, hatiku tidak sedikit pun terusik kerana aku tahu aku belum bersedia dan berada dalam keadaan yang stabil…. jika aku memaksa diri, aku takut semakin sukar untuk aku melelapkan mata kerana ia akan menambah lagi beban di benakku…

Tidak sabar rasanya untuk mengetahui bicara masa depanku….adakah ia diwarnai dengan warna-warna ceria atau warna-warna gelap dan suram…. hanya DIA yang tahu…

aku tahu dan sedar akulah yang perlu menentukan hala tuju hidupku …tapi, aku perlu akur dengan perancanganNYA….hanya DIA yang tahu apa yang terbaik buatku…..aku akur dengan takdirNya....